These days, life is sweet for Mary J. Blige.
ESSENCE spoke with the 53-year-old Queen of Hip-Hop Soul and 2024 inductee into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame ahead of the Empire State Building Ghirardelli Chocolate & Ice Cream Shop grand opening recently in NYC. She partnered with the confectioner—which is also the third largest chocolate company in the United States. The native New Yorker hosted the ribbon-cutting ceremony and welcomed guests (who stood in a line that wrapped the Midtown Manhattan block).
In addition to a love of the confectioner’s treats, prioritizing herself mentally, physically, and spiritually has added sweetness to her life.
“I paid attention. I didn’t let life slip by me,” says Blige. “I learned how to love myself. I learned how to think positively and take care of my spiritual life and my mental life, which takes care of the rest of me.”
That’s part of the reason why at 53, Blige is still glowing from the inside out. In addition to a regular workout routine, she starts her day with prayer and meditation. This is the foundation of her spiritual life. The practice of prayerfulness keeps her grounded; she says it’s something like an act of gratitude. “It lets God know that you know that all of these blessings are because of him. He just takes care of me throughout the day.”
Blige’s healthy spirit and mind is also necessary for a healthy body. After all, it takes a good deal of stamina to do the Mary dance across the stage! As an admitted lover of sweets, MJB is still able to find balance to enjoy a sweet treat, which she attributes to her years of conditioning.
“I used to get ripped up.” Blige tells ESSENCE, “Now I don’t train as hard, but my body has muscle memory. I don’t diet as hard as I should, but I work out. I drink a lot of water, and I am kind to myself. That’s it.”
And being kind means indulging in some chocolate from time to time. The R&B singer is a chocolate enthusiast and loves to find the rich treats in her hotel room— specifically, on her pillow after turndown service. Amongst her faves are Ghirardelli’s chocolate caramel squares; the star is also a fan of the brand’s dark chocolate options. “I love chocolate, and I love cakes. I am like a 200-pound fat girl on the low,” Blige quips.
It’s so rare to see a luminary so down to earth and willing to be real. Blige shares some sage wisdom for women in their 30s, 40s and 50s on walking through life fearlessly, intentionally and all while remaining fly (in all facets of life).
“Just [live life] for yourself.” She says, “At the end of the day, it’s what you do for yourself that matters and that motivates you. Do it for yourself, and then it’ll spill into everybody else’s life. Be selfish a little bit.”
She admits that she used to be ultra-selfless, giving away everything. Prioritizing the self or being “selfish” often leads to a feeling of wrongdoing. The Grammy Award-winning singer now reflects on what it takes to overcome that sense of guilt.
“When you’ve been used and hurt and abused so much by people, you start to ask yourself, ‘Do I care about myself? I keep allowing this to happen to myself,’” Blige says. “It’s nobody’s fault but yours. So only you can fix it, for real.”
She adds, “It’s painful, but guess what? It’s painful going either way. So I’d rather be in pain going forward than in pain, staying stuck-on-stupid and stagnating with people using and abusing me.”
Yes, indeed, life is much sweeter for the queen.
