In Their Own Words: How These Former Foster Youth Turned TikTok Influencers Are Guiding Others Through The Challenges Of Aging Out – Essence

On social media, Kathrell Hicks shares everything from commentary and wig reviews to glimpses into her daily life. However, for a subset of her more than 72K TikTok followers, it’s her experience in foster care that resonates most. “When I first started sharing, I was surprised at how many people had been in the system,” she shared. 

Hicks, who became a ward of the state of Florida at age 12, is among nearly 400,000 US children who cycle in and out of foster care each year. Black children make up a disproportionate share—despite being only 14% of the total population, they represent 22% of those in institutional care. Hicks uses her platform to raise awareness about their challenges and advocate for change in the foster care system.

When children enter the foster care system, it’s because something has gone wrong at home. Add to their young lives the compounding challenges of institutional interventions, social workers’ placements, and an ever-shifting roster of guardians and group homes, and the resulting trauma is almost inevitable. Hicks, like many foster youth, grappled with anger and rebellion—understandably so.

“People would always tell me that I was mature for my age. I was smart, but I struggled immensely. I had trouble communicating my feelings and started lashing out,” she explained. “I just felt like all the moving and constant change of environment made it hard.” With time, however, she would find her footing. “Once I hit high school, around my junior year, I calmed down a little and began paying more attention to the girls around me,” Hicks recalled. “I started to see how our upbringing and the challenges we faced really affected us,” she told ESSENCE.

I spoke with Hicks and fellow former foster youth, influencer Shamya Thompkins, about their experiences. They shared retrospective insights on the challenges of “aging out,” the difficulties of achieving stability in early adulthood, and how finding supportive communities and giving back helped them in the aftermath.

From Foster Youth to Influencer: How Kathrell Hicks Found Meaning in Mentoring Others

When you’re untethered, you need to find an anchor, a connection—a sense of meaning and direction. Hicks found that purpose in her group home. “By the time you’re 17 or 18, you’re one of the older kids in the system and often in the house, so you become a mentor to the younger girls,” she said. 

Today, she offers firsthand perspective and a supportive, big-sister voice to followers with similar histories. The act of giving back is a reciprocal exchange. “First things first,” she begins in a TikTok post, “if you’re aging out, congratulations! I understand it’s been a long, hard battle, but you made it through.” She continued her post with practical tips for those about to exit the system: “When you’re 17, and they’re doing the little Christmas list, ask for gift cards and things for your apartment, such as cleaning supplies, pot sets—things like that, because you’re definitely going to need them.” 

For the nearly 20,000 youth aging out of foster care each year, such practical tips and encouragement are invaluable.

Shamya Thompkins: The Path From Self-Isolation to Communal Connection

Shamya Thompkins’ entry into foster care unfolded quickly, starting with a family move. “When I was with my biological mom, we moved from Ohio to Burleson, Texas. That was in July of 2020. By August of 2021, foster care and CPS were involved,” she recalls. Within a month of the intervention, she was placed in care, but the stability was short-lived. “My first foster home was in Dallas. I was there in September and October of 2021 before being moved to a kinship placement back in Burleson,” she said. 

As she speaks with me from a small town in Central Texas, Thompkins reflects on the events that landed her there. “When I got here, to Stephenville, I was halfway through my junior year of high school. It was about four months before I turned 17,” she said. She describes the home as a campus with 16 houses for different age groups and genders. 

Forming relationships, she says, was challenging: “I isolated myself. I still had connections with my friends in Ohio, but I basically stayed in my room the whole time.” Upon aging out, with no established relationships, Thompkins struggled to find her way. 

Without solid support networks, many foster youth are left wholly unprepared for independence. The trauma of being shuffled through impersonal and often, disjointed systems can lead to self-isolation, health issues, and substance abuse. Research reveals that one-third of former foster youth suffer from untreated mental health disorders, including depression and PTSD. In such cases, tapping into therapy is essential. Thompkins also advocates for finding a supportive, caring community. 

“I would tell people in my position not to isolate,” she told ESSENCE. It’s advice she readily shares with her more than 107K followers on TikTok. “I get that it can be uncomfortable. For the longest time, I would just sit around in my apartment for months, but once I got plugged into a little church community, it really helped turn things around.”

Still, the impact of growing up in foster care doesn’t end at adulthood. On the contrary, for many, it’s where real-world challenges truly begin.

Securing Stable Housing After Aging Out

The transition from foster care to adulthood presents significant hurdles; securing housing, often the most challenging. Approximately 20% of youth become homeless almost immediately after emancipation; those transitioning to independent living face much higher rates of unemployment, incarceration, and other severe hardships compared to their peers. Hicks is no stranger to these challenges. Reflecting on her own experience, she shares: “My birthday is on August 8th; nobody wanted to talk to me about where I was going to move when I left the system until like August 1st. It was a complete s**t show.” 

Unanchored by family, foster youth are at the mercy of unrelated professionals to meet their needs—what the adults around them do or don’t do directly impacts their futures. In a system often overburdened, outsourced, and under-resourced, many get lost in the chaos. Hicks challenges her followers to proactively mitigate these hurdles, asking: “What are you going to do when you move out of here? Where are you going to stay?” In a story posted last year, she advised, “Figure out who your caseworker is and start trying to have conversations with them now about your transition.” Noting the inevitable red tape, she warns, “I know a lot of caseworkers try to wait until the absolute last minute, but please do not let them do y’all like that.”

Adulting is a challenging transition for everyone, but for foster youth, whose formative years are often marked by instability, survival mode is frequently all they can muster. When getting through each day is a struggle, there is little capacity left for future planning; much less for addressing mental and emotional needs. Through their respective social media platforms, Hicks and Thompkins are doing God’s work—providing tried, true, and critical advice to ease the transition to independent living and highlighting the urgent need for systemic support.