Finance and romance are often intrinsically linked, but what happens when you need to separate the two, and quickly?
Often, people can find themselves staying in relationships longer than they’d choose simply because they can’t afford to leave.
Recent survey data from Credit Karma found that 26% of women say it’s too expensive to be single, with nearly a quarter (23%) of women not having enough money for an emergency. The sobering data doesn’t stop there. 2023 research stated nearly 60% of people in the UK shared the cost-of-living crisis has negatively impacted their relationship – with 30% admitting they’re only staying with their partner because they fear “not being able to afford living alone.”
Considering that, many women are making the choice to build a “GTFO” (an account separate from their partner that is 100% theirs) when they need to leave a relationship that no longer serves them. an amount of money that can be immediately withdrawn to cover her cost of living expenses.
Spiceda Jackson, certified public accountant and founder of financial advisory firm TaX Plus 365, says building GTFO funds are easier than some of us think.
Know your income
“Many of us know how much we make a year because of what’s printed on our offer letter,” Jackson tells ESSENCE.
“When building a fund, you need to really get clear about your take home income and ask yourself some important questions. Does it really matter what you make? How much of that income is allocated toward hard expenses. And then, from there understand how much will you need to just get out.
Outline exactly how much you need to just get tf out
Jackson points out the importance of understanding your financial bare necessities.
“Start with your target X,” she tells ESSENCE. “If you know that you have to ensure your kids’ private school tuition is a high priority for you, factor that into your fund. Even something as simple as your grocery bills, take stock of how much that will be.”
Jackson also says it’s important to figure out what can be lifted out of your regular spending.
“We know that self-care is important, but everything doesn’t need to look the way it did when you had more discretionary income,” Jackson says. “How much is your hair? Are you going to need to pull back on getting it done as regularly? Should you invest in ways to do it yourself? Thinking about that is incredibly important when thinking about cutting back without completely disrupting your lifestyle.”
Automate it
It’s not always easy getting into the habit of consciously moving your money around when it hasn’t been a normal practice. Fortunately, Jackson says there are ways to fall into a new money mindset with little to no effort.
“An easy way for people to save is to automate it,” Jackson says. “If you can, start really slow and automate it. And automate it with a number that you won’t even feel.”
Using apps like Rocket Money, Oportun or Qapital are great starts to automating your savings.
Never be afraid to love smart
Jackson, who has been married for 11 years, says there should always room for your individual financial health even in a partnership.
“My husband and I didn’t have joint accounts until we began having children,” she shares. “And that’s not necessarily because I was thinking about getting out, I just think that you should always be setting money aside, even if it’s just to buy him a gift. It’s always smart to have your own, because, as my mom always said, ‘god blesses the child that has her own.”
